i didn't shower today.
and i'm moving to st. george.

maybe if i tell enough people or say it enough..
it'll actually happen.

Never Suffer, Never Joy.

Never Suffer, Never Joy
mortality, heartache, guilt
brothers, lovers, and the sun.
a bloody mess, or happiness?
twisted metal, and mourning mothers,
birthday cake, and laughter.
the tears descend and a smile spreads
but you're a hollow shell
a stranger watching from a distance
full of a numbing substance
observed but never experienced
asleep and never waking
numb and never feeling...
...nothing more.

Television, Garbage Cans, and Red Carpet.

Yesterday i began cleaning my room, which is usually a week long process. Our recently emptied garbage receptical outside is now full of past belongings of mine. I have a hard time throwing things away, so this is a big deal for me. so much of it is sentimental.. I also have 2 garbage bags of shirts and pants to take to the D.I. another garbage bag full of shoes to take to the D.I. AND a couple little walmart bags full of toys and what not to take to the D.I. My beautiful red/orange carpet is slowly becoming more and more visible. Oh, and my borhter had an extra TV at his apartment, so now that tv resides in my room. it's marvelous.